Little Things: Stef Meeder - Gemini 1968

In 1934, the Austrian legal philosopher Hans Kelsen published his 'Pure Theory Of Law'. In it, Kelsen sought to site the authority of law in terms of its social origins or 'norms'. Thus, byelaws gain their authority from the norm of legislation which in turn gets its authority from the norm of parliament. And so on. Ultimately, he believed all legal power can be traced back to, and legitimised by, a single source of authority, what Kelsen termed the 'grundnorm'. Had Hans spent his time trawling through charity shop vinyl instead of worrying about jurisprudence then he may well have located the grundnorm of crap in Stef Meeder's 'Little Things'. Because if there was one shit charity shop album to rule them all, it would surely have to be this, the grundnorm from which all others trickle down in various permutations.

 

Let's start with the most obvious element - the cover.* To date we've seen any number of ropy albums trying to make themselves more sellable via sleeves of soft focus glamour shots of women showing as much skin as taste and mainstream record shops would allow. There's no such nudge nudge shenanigans here though is there? The folk behind this have cut straight to the chase and said 'here's a pair of big tits'. You can criticise it for it's cynicism and you can criticise it for it's sexism, but for my own part I find myself praising it for its honesty - that woman and her breasts have clearly got nothing to do with the music (and trust me, they haven't) and all they're doing is crudely pushing sex to sell the album the way certain top shelf magazines use photosets of naked young women to sell their articles on cars and steam trains.

 

Then there's the music - again, it's all based around that patron saint of charity shop records Laurens Hammond and his eponymous organ, but to ramp up the Hammond quotient to the max, 'Little Things' is not little at all - it's a double album. That's right, what we have here are four sides of Hammond music - almost 90 minutes of the stuff - for double your listening pleasure. And yes, it follows/sets the usual pattern of a highly eclectic mix of familiar, popular tunes ('King Of The Road', 'Blueberry Hill', 'Yesterday') with Euro unfathomable songs ('Soep Met Speldjes', Muss I Den Zum Stadtle Hinaus', 'Froken Fraken' etc.) that I wouldn't recognise if I fell over them in broad daylight, played as medleys in clusters of three or four. Not that the source material matters all that much - this is a purely instrumental affair with Meeder's Hammond rendering them all in an Esperanto-like uniformity that transcends all borders.

 

Because as far as that music goes, the credit on the inner sleeve just about sums it up - 'Stef Meeder, Hammond Organ with Rhythm Accompaniment'. Meeder's organ plays the main melody in a surprisingly subdued way that buzzes like a lazy hornet trapped in a tin bucket, the drums pat out a light shuffle and the bassist plays simple scales in the same key. That's it really, a vaguely jazzy, wine bar sort of music that's not unpleasant at first, but then as it continues in the same relentless way over virtually every single track, it's a repetition that first gets boring and then gets irritating before we get to the end of side one.

 

And that's my biggest beef with it; there's not much light or dark on 'Little Things', no variation in volume or tempo, only a monotonous, monotone drone that burbles away in the background like two people talking too loudly behind you on a long train journey but not loud enough that you can actually understand everything they're saying. And with nothing much to engage with, there's not a lot to enjoy. You could play it as background music to blot out the silence, but to sit and actively listen to it is as satisfying as eating dust - there's simply nothing there to get your teeth into. Which perhaps explains why they thought they needed a cover like that to 'sex it up' a bit; listening to the whole of this in one sitting is something to be endured rather than enjoyed and - by god - I was glad when it was over.

 

 

* Regarding that cover, regular readers will remember that we've met that couple before on a previous Stef Meeder album, only there the woman had her top on. What's interesting (to me anyway) is that there's another Meeder album available ('What Now My Love') that uses an image from that same photoshoot. Only this one not only shows some generous side boob, but the bloke looks like he's sporting a rather obvious erection in his shorts too. Make of that what you will.